These Superhero Films SUCK!

So let me get this straight. You've got a white-hot property in the DC Mainstay Catwoman, you've got Halle Berry ready to take the lead, who is herself an immediately bankable star, and Warner Bros. offering up a stonking $100 million dollars to make this project a reality, and how much exactly do you want use from the countless beloved Catwoman stories on offer?

Absolutely zero? Yeah, I thought you said that. Are you !*$% deluded?

Yes, unfortunately, this was indeed the case when it came to 2004's Catwoman, which while marketing itself as a "loose adaptation" of the Catwoman character, was actually a pretty apt Swamp Thing film as it was covered in utter dreck. For a start, Selina Kyle is out, and in her place, we get...*groan* Patience Phillips, who is a timid and meek character who becomes a sexy dominatrix-esque crime-fighter thanks to some magic cats.

I wish I was !*$% kidding.

This film is complete and utter garbage, as alongside some rubbery CGI and a plot that makes little to no sense at times, commits the worst sin possible for a film centered around female empowerment, in that it over-sexualizes Catwoman, lingers on shots of her body, focuses on an evil makeup brand, and shows women of power actively fighting against one another all the while offering no significant character development whatsoever, providing a vapid, highly hypocritical board room exec view on the latest hot button topic.

It's sex appeal coated in spoiled milk and I thoroughly hate it.