Transformers 4: 5 Human Characters Who Deserve More Storylines

2. "Dutch"

All cards on the table, I will admit that I think Transformers: Dark of the Moon is a travesty. A travesty with a semi-interesting plot and funny one-liners, but still a travesty. Sam had a character change that no amount of complaining about his lousy ex-girlfriend could explain. Then there's the matter of the ex-girlfriend. I don't believe for a second Sam's stories about how it all went down with her. I don't buy Judy and Ron's matching-track-suits cult following of Carly. Also, I hate Carly. When Carly is cornered by a Decepticon, she squeals and cries and whimpers because Sam has to come and help her. When Mikaela had Decepticons around, she tended to either drag an Autobot with a plasma cannon through a battle zone or subdue a Decepticon with her blowtorch. Carly had no redeeming moments except where she taunted Megatron into going back to fight. And even that didn't work for me. What did work for me were a couple of more minor characters. I want to know why Mearing has a fond smile on her face at thought of Autobot assholes. There are all sorts of things that should be left in the dark about her and Simmons. And then there's Dutch. A former NSA cybersleuth played by Alyn Tudyk of the toy dinosaurs and Philadelphia Phillies. (If you don't get those references, watch Firefly and 42 and come back to me.) He thinks "Baryshnikov" isa tough word. He has kick-butt martial arts skills that were probably taught to him by River Tam, but which he dismisses as "the old me." The rest of these characters, I want to see the future. With Dutch, I want to see a lot more of the past.