What if... John Connor Had Never Existed?

As Arnie has distanced himself from making a fifth Terminator film, WhatCulture! takes a humorous look at what might have happened if the Terminator had succeeded in it's mission to kill Sarah Connor, and her son was never born.

We all know the story of The Terminator: evil robot (sorry, €œcybernetic organism€) is sent back to kill Sarah Connor, the mother of world-saviour John Connor, before said saviour is even born. Of course, poor old Arnie failed, John was conceived, and we all lived happily ever after (apart from while watching Rise of the Machines €“ I don€™t think anyone was happy during that!). But what if the Terminator had succeeded in its mission? Let€™s assume that the T-101 travels back through time and manages to annihilate Sarah in Tech Noir (it€™s on Pico, don€™t you know). Kyle Reese is too slow and Arnie puts one between Sarah€™s eyes. Reese, upon realising how truly sucky he is at saving damsels in distress, launches a kamikaze attack on the T-101, only to be blown away by an uzi. So it€™s game over €“ Sarah and Kyle are dead so there€™s no John Connor. What happens? Here are my thoughts for one possible timeline: Finding himself in a paradox where he has no purpose except to have no purpose, the T-101 suffers an existential nervous breakdown and turns to drink. Unable to actually consume liquid, he sinks further into depression and falls back on the only other talent he possesses (besides murder, of course): the Terminator turns to the stage and earns money coming up with brilliantly cheesy one-liners to please the masses. His stage-name €“ Dutch Kimble. Soon, Kimble€™s relentless determination attracts the eye of a young talent scout who sees the brute€™s potential as an action star. Kimble stars in various 80s blockbusters, battling a variety of evil-doers, including a jungle-inhabiting alien and Lucifer himself! But when a stunt goes wrong during the filming of Kimble€™s latest movie €“ Rubber III: Almost Remembered €“ the Terminator is revealed. Mass media goes berserk and the newspapers are filled with stories of futuristic machine wars. A private investigator by the name of Lance Biehn delves into Kimble€™s past and unearths the suspicious murders of Ginger Ventura, her boyfriend Matt, and her roommate Sarah. Donning yellow spandex, Kimble goes on the run. With the technology never harvested, the machines are never created. Thus, Kimble slowly deteriorates and finally disappears into nothingness. So after many decades and zero sightings, the Terminator becomes an urban legend. There is no Judgement Day, no end of the world, no machine-ruled post-apocalyptic future. James Cameron never makes a single movie after Piranha 2. Sly Stallone is hailed as the world€™s biggest action star. Leonardo DiCaprio never becomes a teen heartthrob. The words €œCeline Dion€ merely sound like a spell from Harry Potter. The Alien franchise is never heard of again until 2007 when Michael Bay takes charge and makes Alien vs. Transformers. The first successful 3D venture is a porn film. The most popular blue movie characters are the Smurfs. Jessica Alba never soars to stardom via TV and is forced to work in a deadbeat diner (but in a hundred years, who€™s gonna care?) Of course, this is just one of many possible outcomes. So what I want to know from you is. . . . What would happen if John Connor had never existed?
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A screenwriter by trade, Neil loves all things movie-related. His favourite TV show is Buffy the Vampire Slayer, his favourite film is Predator, and his favourite band is Pearl Jam. He also has unhealthy obsessions with Joss Whedon and Eddie Vedder.