What Your Favourite Star Wars Movie Says About You

3. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)

Return of the JediThe Movie: Picking up where Empire left off, Jedi sees Luke starting to understand the appeal of the dark side (lightning powers, black leather gloves), while Han and Leia lead the rebels in a desperate final battle against The Emperor€™s fleet. Jedi returns to the franchise€™s roots, starting in Tatooine, and ending with a showdown at the Death Star 2.0. A tribe of adorable, easily marketed bear cubs, called Ewoks, join the ensemble, unwittingly becoming pioneers in the proud tradition of €œWorst Things in Star Wars.€ Along the way, we bid farewell to Jabba, Yoda, The Emperor, and Vader, in an emotional, but triumphant swan song for the saga. Good defeats evil, love blooms on the battlefield, and it all ends with everybody partying it up Ewok-style. It€™s a textbook happy ending, provided you€™re willing to ignore the massive power vacuum left by The Emperor€™s death, and the depression Luke faces in the wake of losing a father and a lover. But it€™s not like Star Wars has ever been about politics and hormones. Could you even imagine what that would be like? What It Says About You: Every time some geek gets worked up over the Ewoks, you have to stifle a laugh. So what if the Care Bears save the day? At what point was the franchise that named its mystical energy source, €œThe Force,€ supposed to be taken seriously? Blockbusters are meant to be entertaining; you don€™t get how someone can hate speeder bike races and cute fuzzballs, but love 20 minutes of swamp yoga with Kermit the Frog€™s great-grandfather. This series is about having fun, something Empire forgot when trying to cover up the innate ridiculousness of Star Wars, and starting the awful trend of people mistaking €œdarker€ for €œbetter." The story is what€™s most memorable to you, and Jedi wraps it all up in a neat little bow. You think Wicket and his bear buddies are fine, and probably laugh more often than you should at people saying, €œit€™s a trap!€ You still have the occasional sex dream involving a gold bikini, and you€™re totally cool with that. Favourite Star Wars Accessories: Official Return of the Jedi popcorn bucket, and complementary collector€™s cup from Burger King Soundbite: €œThe prequels might suck, but at least now I€™m taking less stick for liking Jedi.€ Favourite Movies: Roger Moore-era Bond, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
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If it can be written about, Sam will write about it. He's got a degree in biology for some reason, probably because The Thing gave him the impression that wildlife research is mostly about getting drunk with Kurt Russell, and using flamethrowers (it isn't). He lives in Toronto, and almost met Dan Aykroyd that one time.