4. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
The Movie: Sixteen years after closing the book on the original trilogy, Lucas returned to his masterwork to tell the origin stories of Darth Vader and Obi Wan. Seeing as
Star Wars barely qualifies as science fiction, its not surprising that he underestimated the risks that come travelling back in time. The alterations to the original canon were drastic: Jedi were no longer mystical knights, they were U.N. peacekeepers, saving trade deals instead of princesses. Darth Vaders childhood turned out to be just as embarrassing as your average audience members, but with the added backstory of being Space Jesus, because otherwise his rise to prominence in the galaxy
would just be unrealistic. And the Ewoks? They just stared at audiences with those black, lifeless eyes, cackling amongst themselves as the crown of Worst Thing in
Star Wars passed from an entire species, to a single Jar Jar Binks. Lucas scrapes together a few cool new characters like Qui-Gon Jinn and Darth Maul, but then decides to kill them off during the finale, just to twist the knife a little bit further. Original
Star Wars fans were not amused.
What It Says About You: You dont give a womp rat about what the old school fans say is proper
Star Wars, or even care to find out what a womp rat is for that matter - this is the best of the good
Star Wars trilogy. You dont get how people who saw the old movies when they were kids can turn around twenty years later, and complain that the new movies arent for them. Yeah, you dont waste any energy trying to defend Jar Jar, and the Trade Federation stuff is pretty boring, but who cares,
Phantom Menace is a really exciting space epic. And it looks amazing or did, anyway. You havent seen it in a while, but the memories are all still there: the pod-race, the big battle between the Gungans and the droids, a DOUBLE-BLADED LIGHTSABER. Let the geeks and old fogies argue about midi-chlorians - this is the
Star Wars movie for you.
Favourite Star Wars Accessories:
Pod Racer for the N64, Darth Maul Halloween mask
Soundbite: Yeah, the first
Star Wars is pretty good. Wait, who are Han and Luke? No, Im talking about
thefirst one, duh.
Favourite Movies:
Transformers,
I Am Legend