WTF: A TOWN CALLED PANIC

Movie critics from time to time bemoan the lack of originality and creativity of the films coming out of Hollywood. The story formulas, the stock characters, and the by-the-numbers direction often make critics cranky and cynical. To anyone complaining about such things, I offer A Town Called Panic as the antithesis of modern movie malaise. Just bring some aspirin. Quite possibly the cheapest-looking stop-motion film ever made, A Town Called Panic features a bunch of plastic toys that go on ceaseless, careening adventures. The protagonists - Cowboy, Indian, and Horse - all live in a peculiar house in an unspecified (possibly French) countryside. The "plot" of the film involves Cowboy and Indian accidently ordering 50 billion bricks as a birthday present for Horse. The ensuing narrative that arises from that tiny germ of an idea could not be divined by God Himself, nor ever understood. While I admire the painstaking work involved in making these simple-looking toys come to some sort of life, this is simply not a good movie. No matter how crazy a film gets, it still requires a tangible plot or character arcs that justify sitting in a theater for ninety minutes. This film, however, plays like a never-ending freefall into insanity. When mer-men inexplicably climbed out of the farm's pond and stole a house, I was ready to leave. The film just goes on and on like that, with one spastic event leading into another without reason or sense. The animation is hideous, although I did very much like some of the vast landscapes conjured as a backdrop. The characters, standing on little pedestals just like those old army soldier toys, bounce back and forth when talking by way of little globs of clay being postioned under their feet. This technique becomes very distracting, then amusing, then annoying. The puppets used are fairly ugly, and are kept in long shots most of the time. This, however, gives a depersonalizing effect to the film that prevents us from really loving what's onscreen. Ultimately, this film looks like a very ugly toy set hyperactively scrambling around on its own. I could have gotten onboard for the technique and look of the film if it had anything going on in its head. But it doesn't. The film doesn't make a lick of sense, the characters are barely sketched, and the tone of the film provides little engage an audience. If this is the alternative, then I think I'll stick to Michael Bay films instead.