2. Final Fantasy IX - Now Here's The REAL Final Boss
Dipping back into the Final Fantasy well brings us another instalment. As ever, players are introduced to another cobbled together group of main characters, a new fantasy universe, and a new big bad guy who wants to rule the everything simply because the story demands it. After another adventure of endless level-grinding, cartoonish environments, and chocobo riding, Zidane and his cohort finally corner Kuja and defeat him, thus saving the world. Or not, as it turns out. Immediately afterwards, a new boss, Necron, appears from absolutely nowhere. It transpires that hes the actual final boss of the game. No matter that you're still hurt, you have to fight him anyway with only the barest of explanations of who he is, what he's doing here, and why you should care. A great final boss is a hallmark of every Final Fantasy game, but to just wedge one in without any hint or foreshadowing is asking a bit much. Whats even worse is that the developers made Necron wax lyrical using Yoda quotes, and from the awful prequel trilogy no less. Ugh, no thanks, Square Enix. Next time, you can keep your backwards-speaking big boss.
My life story is nothing special. I haven't cured ebola, I'm nowhere near stopping terrorism, and I'm still working on that climate change problem.
Instead, all I've done so far is put a few hundred words together in an attempt to make people laugh.
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