10 Hopeless Video Game Protagonists

The protagonists who went from zero to... zero.

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Oddworld Inhabitants

Not all heroes are born equal.

Some will swagger into an enemy-filled room, cigarette in mouth, rocking a hefty piece on each arm with nothing but their rock-hard abs for protection from the ensuing flurry of incoming bullets. The type who'll clear out said room and once they've finished say something nonchalant like "I hate surprise parties" while their sweat glands silently beg for just one chance to show the world what they can do.

Others, however, might wander into that same room, scratch their heads in bemusement and ask where they are or how they got there. That is before spotting the assailants in front of them, shrieking as they turn tail and sprint in the opposite direction, tumbling over a lever labeled 'meat grinder' in the process as the floor beneath the enemies opens up and swallows them whole.

While power fantasies are a great tool for effective escapism, there's little that works better for relatability than the player character being the physical embodiment of impostor syndrome.

If ever you're doubting yourself, just remember: some of these guys saved the world.

10. Raving Rabbids (Rabbids Go Home)

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France 3

The Raving Rabbids first invaded Ubisoft’s Rayman series in 2006 and opinion has been divided ever since.

Beginning life as screeching harbingers of chaos designed to get in Rayman’s way, they developed over the next 16 years into screeching harbingers of chaos that occasionally quest alongside the Mushroom Kingdom crew.

In 2009 the Rabbids were set free from the shackles of the limbless wonder and given their own title, the Nintendo Wii’s Rabbids Go Home. With a plot as bizarre as the titular creatures, it saw the Rabbids becoming bored with life on Earth and deciding to return home. Unsure of where that is, they decide the Moon is as good a guess as any and proceed to gather up all manner of junk to make a mountain to get up there.

The gameplay revolved around pushing a shopping trolley around at breakneck speeds while relentlessly stealing humans’ belongings. Perhaps best described as anti-heroes, the chaotic nature and complete lack of inhibition in these mascots might be unorthodox but that doesn’t stop them from achieving their goals… sort of.

After their pile is blown up, they’re catapulted into space and stuck forever in the Moon’s orbit and this, in their eyes, constitutes a success.

Contributor

The fourth best writer living in Bristol named Alexander Erting-Haynes. When not writing, found shamelessly gushing about Majora's Mask, The Office (UK) and Shaun of the Dead.