10 Signs You're Way Too Old To Be A Gamer

8. You Trade Completionism For Realism

You don€™t simply want achievements. They€™re just by-products of your quest to not merely beat a game, but complete it. Boy oh boy, though, these days they make you work: you€™ll have to scour entire cities for pigeons; survive actual lunar cycles of zombie hordes; and join the Mile High Club€”the one with Uzis. The problem is, you€™re so badly in achievement arrears, now, that even by steadily working towards acing all of your existing games for an hour or two each day, the platinum range of XbOne and PS4 games will be out before you so much as make a dent. So, why not get real? You€™re never going to close the gap. You€™re barely a finisher, let alone a completer. The era of fifteen hour weeks (two-thirds of them optional) have long since passed you by, and attempting to ignore that fact will simply thrust you deeper into the abyss beneath the gaming zeitgeist. Face it, it's time to cut your losses, knuckle down, and do what you can. The whole world is taking austerity measures€”it's only fitting. And post 9/11, in the midst of a turbulent Arab spring, just thank your stars that you're still playing Fallout and not living it.