10 Truly Terrible Video Game Quests We're All Sick Of

3. Escort Quests

skyrim dragonborn
Capcom

Escort quests are dull. We discovered this circa 1991, and yet developers still insist on adding these filler missions into their games. After all, who doesn’t love running, stopping, waiting for the AI to extract themselves from part of the scenery…

Usually, your escort will be utterly defenceless, which means you can’t just bolt it to the marker and complete the quest; you’ll have to stop and fight every enemy your devout follower irritates – which is all of them. To add insult to injury, you can’t even kill your follower yourself, in order to speed up proceedings.

An inversion of this is the ‘follow me there’ quest, which really changes the pace by making you follow them. Ingenious! Or would be, if the NPCs didn’t walk slower than an asthmatic ant.

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Word-wrangler and video gamer on the rocks. Once completed the original Resident Evil in 1 hour 4 minutes. Prefers Irish coffee over any other kind. Former movie trailer writer, now rehabilitated. Wrote the viral videos for the movie Watchmen. Likes sarcasm, cynicism, smoking and you.