A job pirating on the seven seas is not something your school careers advisor is going to recommend. Not unless you have an eye patch and bring your stuffed animal 'Polly' in with you. Still, for as long as there have been boats, there have been men wanting to steal boats. Pirating is often romanticised as being rather noble, and games have played their part in that. Being a swashbuckling, grog-swilling thief-of-the sea, has a certain charm after all. So long as you don't get seasick and can resist the charms of sirens on the rocks; a fortune of gold doubloons is headed your way. Just find the giant 'X' and you're set for life. The reality is quite dangerous. One: you're a criminal. Two: you're at sea. Three: you're surrounded by other criminals out at sea. Unless of course the game in question is Japanese, in which case you're invariably and inexplicably a sky-pirate. In which case, let's hope you packed a parachute instead of a dinghy. Pirates have a received a sudden resurgence in popular culture, thanks in part to the popular ride, and lesser known film, Pirates of the Caribbean. Pirates in the real world, far from being mascara-wearing, Keith Richards impersonators, tend to be from Somalia, or one of those other countries that you've vaguely heard of but couldn't point to on a map, and they won't have much of a sense of humour when it comes to your hilarious, piratey accent. Why then, when pirates are 'the bad guys', are they all too often the heroes? As a culture, at some point we've drawn a distinction between the good pirates and the bad pirates. The aquatic Robin Hoods, and the naval nasties who are far closer to the truth. Walking the plank may sound a lot of fun, but the cold reality is, you're going to get very wet and look rather silly. Plus sharks. Between scurvy, starvation, storms, tidal waves, dehydration, law enforcement, other pirates, being shipwrecked, evil parrots, falling off the mast, falling overboard, falling in love with another pirate and many of the hundreds of other ways you could die at sea, pirating is one of the most dangerous and unglamorous things you could do with your life. I'm sorry if you were genuinely considering it as a career choice, but that's just how it is.
