17 Gaming Secrets Only Losers Discover
16. Death By Guitar Battle (Total Distortion)
Released for Mac and Windows in 1995, full motion video adventure title Total Distortion is clearly a strange and audacious product of its time.
Gamers take on the role of a music video director who battles legendary guitarists in the Distortion Dimension while attempting to become famous and/or wealthy by selling footage to interested parties. There’s more to it than that – such as alien technology, the ability to make sandwiches, shady governmental hijinks, and anthropomorphic talking objects – but none of that really matters here.
Ultimately, you come across the head honcho of the Distortion Dimension, Metal Lord, who wants you gone both because he’s planning to invade Earth and because he thinks what you’re doing is stealing (which, you know, it pretty much is). Naturally, he wants to kick your butt with a guitar battle!
If he depletes your life force first, you’ll see a close-up shot of him laughing maniacally as the screen says, “You blew it. You are dead!” What’s more, a tongue-in-cheek song – reminiscent of Oingo Boingo – mocks you with the following chorus: “Your heart has stopped and your brain is cold / And now your body is starting to mold.”
To be fair, Metal Lord warns you head of time not to “come any closer” or he “will destroy you.” So, he wasn’t lying.