These Video Game Villains SUCK!

Balan Wonderworld is one of the weirdest games I think I've ever seen, and seems to be Square Enix saying to fans "But we've got Mario Odyssey at home".

It is in many places such a cheap rip off of a much superior title that you can't help but feel Nintendo's lawyers were licking their lips in anticipation but were swayed from action by Doug Bowser just shaking his head and saying "c'mon guys look at this game, they've been through enough"

It's not an out-and-out terrible game, but certain elements of it are utter dog !*$%. Take for example the horrendous QTE segments that seem to play out in the exact same format every single time, or the skin-crawling dance sections which only serve to highlight the Go Animate! level of quality the sprites were drawn with. For that matter, the characters themselves look like they belong in the crowd of a WWE PS2 game for how lacking in detail and proportion they come with.

Still, the cream of the crap has to be the villain of the piece, Lance, who absolutely fails on every conceivable level to be an effective villain. Take for a start that design, which again is just Yuji Naka trying desperately to be the cool kid on the playground decking out his OC (Do not steal) in black with writing tentacles. Yuji my friend, you're 55 it's time to stop trying to be down with the youths.

Yet if only Lance's backstory and motivations were as complicated and dark as his clothing, alas all we actually get of his aspirations in the game is that he's really really into negative feelings. We get it mate, we all listened to Funeral for a Friend back in the day, move on. And to top all of this off, if you read the accompanying novel (oh yes please give me MORE of this tosh) you'll find out that he speaks exclusively in rhymes.

Wonderful.

Here's a rhyme for you:

Balan Wonderland, A up-rez'd Ps2 game

Cringeworthy dances and a story so lame.

And when it comes to antagonists, let me be blunt

Lance you are an utter c-