5. Coldplay
Parlophone
Current Odds: 10-1 Britain's biggest and dullest band returned with a whimper rather than a bang in 2014. Conscious uncoupler Chris Martin released another collection of beige, awful songs in the spring, but was seemingly too intent on wearing his relationship woes on his self-knitted sleeve to attempt a headline slot at Glastonbury 2014. Cheer up, Chris, at least you can eat hamburgers again. Sadly for festival-goers, it seems ominous that this may only have been a temporary reprieve - Coldplay are quoted at as little as 8-1 with some bookmakers touting them to fall asleep at their own instruments at Worthy Farm next year. The record has sold well, despite anybody who publicly admits to buying them being as thin on the ground as Wayne Rooney's hair-plugs, and will probably do so until the end of the year - but the hiatus is over; Coldplay will play either Glastonbury or T in The Park, mark our words. Between now and that horrifying proposition becoming reality, bear one thing in mind: Coldplay released probably the most stagnant, emotionally stunted, downright boring album about a relationship breakdown in popular music - it was certainly no Here, My Dear or Blood On The Tracks. By the time Glastonbury 2015 rolls around, the divorce may have actually been finalised. It doesn't bear thinking about.