4. Andy Cole - Outstanding
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9UHcRrCWlI Andy Coles attempt at a rap career can be described in a variety of ways but unfortunately for the former Newcastle United striker, Outstanding is not amongst the adjectives that most listeners would use. Cole displays extremely basic, played-out rhyming schemes such as, Can I kick it? Yes, you can./ A summer time rhyme and a party jam. If that wasn't enough, the striker bobs his head in a self-assured way, indicating that he genuinely believes that his lyrics are deep, poetic, thought-provoking words of wisdom. At the time of this record, did Cole genuinely believe that he was going to be Englands answer to Jay-Z or Notorious BIG? I have a fun idea, why don't we compare the lyrics of a Biggie Smalls rap to that of Andy Coles Outstanding; just to see if a difference in quality can actually be found. Here is Notorious BIG addressing his pre-fame struggles in the track Juicy: "We used to fuss when the landlord dissed us/No heat. Wonder why Christmas missed us/Birthdays were the worst days/Now we sip champagne when we thirst-ay." Now for the words Cole used to tackle the same issues in Outstanding: I reminisce back to the school yard/ I used to work hard, I used to play hard/ I got my kicks from hitting the net / not from drugs, you bet. See, similar levels. Though Coles positive, anti-drugs message alone is a firm argument for his place amongst the rap giants.
Danny Parker
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A wrestling enthusiast, currently educating the youth of Taiwan English; there are now a bunch of Asian kids running around with Yorkshire accents. Read about that trip and others at dragonstravel.com.
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