10 Totally Cheesy Songs (That Are Still Awesome)

8. Michael Bolton - How Can We Be Lovers?

Michael Bolton is a wholesome fanny rat.

He is most certainly going to f*ck you, and it is going to look and feel like that opening scene from The Room, but he at least isn't a total weirdo with whom sharing a life must be incredibly bizarre and off-putting. Bolton would romance you, and in all likelihood test his material out on you with an acoustic demo before making a very long, peformative showing of removing your lingerie.

But, with 'How Can We Be Lovers?' Bolton expressed the sensitivity within.

He valued the woman's friendship and body over the course of four deeply impassioned minutes of the softest of soft rock. He wasn't a bad boy; with a cynical calculation, he penetrated the mum's market with his powerful, soaring voice and dismal but comprehensible rhyming couplets.

"Whoa whoa, when there's no communication / Whoa whoa, it's a no-win situation"

With an escalation of drama, everything reaches a crescendo of passion, leading to a bridge that is textbook cheese. The music stops, abruptly, and Bolton sings, quietly 'We can work it out' before the chorus blasts back all the way up to 11, mirroring what you can easily imagine is Bolton's nearly-pulling-out-whoa-whoa-it's-back-in penetration technique.

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Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and surefire Undisputed WWE Universal Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!