10 Totally Cheesy Songs (That Are Still Awesome)

3. Rick Derringer - Real American

The opening swell of synthesiser - callously cut from Hulk Hogan's recent WWE entrances - promises something huge. The riff cannot possibly live up to the lyrics.

"I am a real American / Fight for the rights of every man / I am a Real American / Fight for what's right / Fight for your life!"

The opening swell is the sound of hope; the subsequent explosion of guitar is the sound of f*ckin' justice being delivered by a literal bald eagle.

And when that riff comes crashing down, f*ck. Forget about it. Forget about the forever cancelled subject and the ugly betrayal of his moral code. Forget about his refusal to apologise. The song is simply so majestic, so 'murican, that it holds an escapist quality for three-and-a-half fist-pumping minutes. For three-and-a-half minutes, and not any longer, because Hogan is awful, you are convinced that the excess of Reagan's '80s were, in fact, the zenith of civilisation.

The backing vocals are preposterous, particularly as the song reaches its batsh*t crescendo. The woman sounds as if she is in a state if ecstasy, as if the sight of the bronzed god subject is simply so heroic, and so masculine, that she has came in the name of glory.

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Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!