Going to a gig is the staple and in some cases entire purpose of life for younger people. Those of the age of 18 or less tend to wander into the glitzy or grungey arenas and basements with a sense of awe and wonder, barely able to contain their excitement for the aural pleasure about to burst their ear drums. Unfortunately, for those of us (whom I like to refer to as the unwittingly grumpy enlightened) who have a bit more mileage under our belts - or just those of us who are less sociably flexible - a gig has become a poisoned chalice. On one hand, you get to see an artist you actually enjoy performing the songs you like. On the other, there's the fact that you have to stand as the solitary sane figure in a sea of morons who seem unable to grasp what is and what is not acceptable crowd behaviour. Where there is anticipation, there is fear of who you'll be standing near. Where there is joy, there is annoyance at who is blocking your view. Yes, these are the people who turn up to concerts that we all know, and that we all very much hate.
10. Phone People
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbD0_gpb3P0 It's become a widely accepted fact that, for better or for worse, the lighter at a concert has been replaced by the mobile phone. Whilst this is extremely advantageous in some ways, for example, the removal of thousands of naked flames from a crowd of 80s metal fans and the copious amount of hair spray they bring is nothing but a godsend; it is also something of a major irritant to the majority of my fellow UGEs. Now, instead of seeing Bruce Springsteen disappear into a sea of screaming, joyous faces and embracing arms, you'll see The Boss blinded by a billion close range flashes as the front rowers compete amongst each other to see can snatch the most blurry picture of their idol. And if they're not snapping totally useless pictures of fuzzy lights and sweaty guitarists, they're recording snippets of songs or the tiresome waffle that almost every musician is guilty of between songs. I challenge you to find a gig recording anywhere on YouTube that is in anyway fully enjoyable, or in any measure an acceptable quality. It cannot be done, lest the recorder has come equipped with some heavy duty gear. And therein lies the main annoyance: these people (and we've all done it at some point) are taking photos and videos which they will almost certainly never view again, because they know it will never match the actual experience of being there in the first place. It's just plain pointlessness the likes of which man has rarely seen.
