We're hurtling towards Christmas at a frightening pace and that can only mean one thing - the 'Now That's What I Call Xmas' CDs are being dusted off for yet another year. You've probably already noticed the tinny sounds of festive bells following you around stores as the days get shorter and the world gets more claustrophobic. You may even have found yourself absent-mindedly humming the only tunes you actually know by the likes of The Pogues, Slade and Mariah Carey. Are these songs played in order to induce a warm, fuzzy feeling in our hearts? To make us forget all our troubles and spread the joy? Or is it to encourage us to buy even more useless items and keep Wizzard's pockets jangling for the fortieth yuletide? Wouldn't it be nice if one year, the repetition was suddenly broken and the radio played songs about how Christmas really can be for a change? The dark realities, the familial fall-out over festive turkey dinners, and the stark fact that not everyone likes the holidays rammed down their throat mercilessly every December (or September.) Safe in the knowledge that this will actually never happen, we've comprised a list of some of the least conventional and downright weird Christmas songs you're bound not to hear this December.