7 Rock Legends Who Really Have No Business Still Being Alive

2. Jerry Lee Lewis

Born: 29 September 1935; Ferriday, Louisiana Career Highlights: When Jerry Lee Lewis started his recording career in 1955, it hadn't yet occurred to anyone that a piano could function as a lead instrument in a rock ensemble the same way an electric guitar could. That all changed when Lewis first sat down and tickled the 88s. Lewis' left hand and right hand were each effectively a distinct instrument, capable of rendering superfluous the presence of both a guitarist and a bass player. The original, iconic recording of "Great Balls of Fire" is a powerful testament to this fact. Lewis' piano fills up the arrangement so completely that most listeners don't even realize there's no guitarist or bass player present on the recording, because their absence simply doesn't matter. Notable Addictions: Whiskey, Percodan, Loaded Firearms, Having a 13 Year-Old Wife. Why He Should Be Dead: No one on this list €“ yes, that includes Keith Richards €“ has less business being alive today than Jerry Lee Lewis from Ferriday, Louisiana (he's also, incidentally, the only performer on this list who can make "Louisiana" rhyme with "piano".) As everybody knows, Lewis' greatest mistake, both morally and professionally, was getting married to his 13 year-old cousin and taking her along on his tour of Great Britain in 1958. When the story went public, Lewis' days as a superstar were over. He dealt with the disappointment the same way many famous musicians have: by drinking and drugging himself into a decades-long stupor. Even by rock star standards, Lewis' intake of liquor and pills between the '60s and '80s was nothing short of astonishing. That he's nearing age 80, still performing, with his original set of internal organs still functioning is a major upset.