10 Horrifying Things Nobody Tells You About Being The Boss

8. You Have To Enforce Policies You Hate

As the boss, you are now a glorified mouthpiece for company policies€”whether you agree with those policies or not. And guess what? They frequently suck. Unfortunately for you, if you find a policy unreasonable, it's likely that your employees will too. The only difference? You are held directly responsible for the successful implementation of these policies, and you have no choice but to pretend that they make sense. No matter how stupid. So buckle up and get ready to do some serious abiding. Oh, and be prepared to come up with bullshit defenses for every scummy rule that's thrown your way so you're not ducking into the ladies' room every time you're faced with a disgruntled employee. Be sure to throw some meaningless buzzwords in there to fully assert your authority. I've taken the liberty of helping you out with a few: MEMO: Casual Friday canceled. Generic Boss Response: "This is a great opportunity to capitalize on the value of client face time." MEMO: New "no-candy" rule in the company pantry. Generic Boss Response: "Implementing cutting-edge health strategies will help in maintaining our team's high standard of professional€”and personal€”excellence." MEMO: Everyone required to shell out fifty bucks for the billionaire CEO's birthday gift. Generic Boss Response: "This virtuous demonstration will serve as an exciting platform for cross-departmental cooperation on both personal and financial levels!" This defensive maneuver will conveniently save you the time it takes to memorize the layout of your building's ventilation ducts. But you can't hide forever, because...