10 Outrageous Jack The Ripper Suspect Theories

1. Hitler

You know who has a slightly more convincing motivation to go around killing innocent people? Adolf Hitler. Nobody's surprised by that monster doing such horrible things. He committed mass genocide, so we can see why a few light murders around Whitechapel might serve as a suitable appetiser. It's just every other part of the theory that doesn't make sense, what with the Fuhrer not being old as balls, nor spending a heck of a lot of time in London during the 1800s, and also just why would you think Hitler was Jack The Ripper, that is ridiculous, oh wait it's somebody on the internet, of course they think that. Godwin's law: it applies to speculation over historical murderers too, apparently. Okay, so remember we mentioned that the Duke Of Clarence possibly teamed up with Prince Albert Victor to do the killings? That's our starting point. How could a Duke have managed to escape the rap for such horrible crimes? By travelling across Europe, settling in Austria, and changing his name, of course. Growing a silly moustache is pretty much de rigueur for disguises, too. That would put Adolf as a little bit of an older gent than we tend to think of, but hey, Eva Braun described him as €œelderly€ when they first met, to. Yeah, we don't buy it either. So how about the theory that Jose Rizal, Filipino national hero, was The Ripper, and he actually fathered Hitler whilst on a jaunt around Germany? Plenty of proof to support that. Like, erm, he had the initials JR. And could've been in London during the late 1880s. And liked the ladies. And was possibly pure evil. The Lewis Carroll one's starting to sound a lot more believable, actually...
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Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/