3. When Big-Boobed Girls Are Like "You're So Lucky"
No. No no no. You don't understand how demoralising is it to lie down naked and be aware that you might be mistaken for an airport runway. Remember that time you were coming down the stairs at work and a lady with big jiggling wobbling boobs was running up towards you clutching at her chest like it was about to fall off? Remember how she looked like she was having a heart attack and was practically carrying her chest in both hands? Remember how, as she ran past you, she said "I am so jealous of your small chest! Carrying these puppies around all day is such hard work!" Remember how you wanted to punch her in the face and shout at her that she'll never understand what it is to look like a pre-pubescent boy every day of your life?
Rachel Bailey
Contributor
I love Stephen King and music festivals; I eat my toast upside down; I daydream about getting married probably a bit too much; and I wish every day for a pet sausage dog puppy (who never materialises – sob).
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Rachel