10 Reasons It's Way Better To Be A Dog Dad

There's a societal expectation that dogs are occasionally going to do something really terrible, and probably more than a little stinky. So when your pup takes a tinkle on your friend's couch, all you really need to do is shrug your shoulders and look at them like "Whaddya gonna do, right?" (And immediately clean it up, unless you're a monster.)

With children, there's only so much terribleness they can output before your parenting skills are called into question. For instance, it's pretty easy to excuse your dog for rolling on his back with his erection flailing in the air, because he's a dog and he doesn't know what his penis is doing, he just wants to itch his back. Whaddya gonna do? That's not a trait he learned from you (probably), it's just something dogs do.

But it's a little harder to explain away your little tyke telling his cute English teacher that "Daddy said you have a booty that refuses to quit, but never to tell mommy about it or she'd make him sleep on the sofa." Or maybe the little rascal pees on your Aunt's houseplant because that's what daddy would do if he drank too much. 

Kids are always snitching.