10 Reasons It's Way Better To Be A Dog Dad

3. Dog Food Is Cheaper, And More Satisfying

Turner and Hooch
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Not only is dog food ridiculously inexpensive compared to human food, but most dogs aren't picky. Should you give them the pellets that are made with sweet potato and chicken or the pellets that are made with brown rice and beef? It doesn't matter. Give them both. Or give them leftover mashed potatoes. They'll eat it!

Unless your dog suffers from a condition that requires them to eat limited ingredient formulas, you could buy their food for two months for the cost of skipping a week's worth of Starbucks.

And then there's your human child. Ugh. So much money goes into their stupid little bellies, doesn't it? That is if you can get them to eat anything that isn't macaroni and cheese or cheese pizza. Kids are the pickiest creatures on the face of the planet. If they were forced to scavenge for their own nutrients, they'd be dead within two weeks, either because they're terrible foragers or because they'd refuse to eat anything not shaped like a nugget. 

Dogs would find food. They would eat food. They would continue with their goddamn day. Now that's something a dad can be proud of.

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Jacob is a part-time contributor for WhatCulture, specializing in music, movies, and really, really dumb humor.