10 Things Guys Do That Are An Immediate Turn Off

10. Fart In Bed

It might seem funny to let one rip and then try to Dutch oven her, but it's actually disgusting. She wants to get into bed and have you seduce her, or at least let her try and seduce you. Not have to be made into a duvet burrito filled with your smelly inner gases. There's nothing less sexy than a girl lying in bed, looking like an absolute babe because she's got fancy underwear on and has recently been for a wax, who you've just farted your curry gases all over her. Men who let rip and then sniff at what they've just let out of their own anus should also feel totally ashamed of themselves. No one should enjoy the stench of farts, whether it's their own or somebody else's. Any man who does this doesn't deserve to have sex. Ever.
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I love Stephen King and music festivals; I eat my toast upside down; I daydream about getting married probably a bit too much; and I wish every day for a pet sausage dog puppy (who never materialises – sob).