10 Things You Want To Do To Justin Bieber After His Childish Deposition Video

5. Have Him Perform At A 13 Year Old's Quinceanera

I got married when I was 22. It was a summer wedding. The week before we had my bachelor party. It was in San Diego, and that's very close to Mexico. Drunkenly, somehow, we managed to stumble our way into a Quinceanera. And, honestly, it was the craziest party I've ever been to in my entire life. If you can ignore the fact that it may be weird for a bunch of early twenty somethings to party with, primarily, 13-year-old girls and boys, you can start imagine what a party might be like at Justin Bieber's house. Except no, you can't. Because Quinceanera's are like the parties to end all parties. At least this one was. I'm fairly certain these kids were on every substance under the sun. I smoked cigarettes with some of them outside when we got overwhelmed by how inappropriate it was that we were there in the first place. And we looked like the sober ones. If Justin Bieber thinks he knows how to party and abuse substances before the legal age, then he needs to get swarmed by crazy girls who have had their judgment impaired from mind-altering drugs and alcohol. Combine that with the fact that they would probably be so tremendously thrilled to see him perform as a "surprise guest" that they would literally eat him. Bieber problem solved.