10 Types Of Shopper That Deserve A Solid Kick To The Nether-Regions

7. The Sporadic "I WANT THIS!" Child

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRTkCHE1sS4 This is no ordinary creature. Its powers are strong as they are high-pitched. A hardworking single-mother simply cannot afford ALL the Butterfingers. It's a controversial topic but I fully support a woman's right to scissor-kick her child. Studies show that children that are scissor-kicked at an early age are less likely to be fans of Kanye West. Do you want your kid to be a fan of Kanye West? You should leave your computer right now, I think someone's little creation is in need of a good scissor-kickin'. The child is usually very young but adult cases have been reported. Not complying with the child could lead to accusations of phony abuse charges and threats against the family pet. They're most formidable when they begin releasing tear-duct-moisture and become scarlet red in the face. The child's power is linked directly to Lucifer's pectorals and according to Christian legend each time you give into their demands the amount the Devil can bench-press increases. The best solution to ending a rage is to have another child and love that one more. This will instill a lifetime of self-confidence issues and create a solidly vapid but tolerable offspring.