10 Types Of Shopper That Deserve A Solid Kick To The Nether-Regions

6. The Roid Enraged Shover

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2f-YZnOMF0U Probably the most terrifying of all the shoppers; this one might actually kill you. Some question whether or not most of these people are even aware there's other folks in their way. In a news report of a recent incident, a witness to the shover's crime frantically said: "This guy with leprosy was standing in front of the ice cream just minding his business. I'm here debating what brand of Craisins to buy, and then all of a sudden this old woman comes barreling through the aisle. She throws the guy with leprosy out of the way. He hits the wall and shatters into a dozen pieces! She didn't even stop to try and put him back together." That's right, an elderly woman did that. They never appear how they are in the movies. Police arrive expecting a hulking heap of testosterone filled madness, but no. It was most likely the 87 year old women in aisle twelve. Shovers mainly hunt during the holiday season, but you have to be wary at all times. I avoid injuries by duck-taping pillows around my entire body. When I teach my lectures, I urge parents to paper-mache their child's heads and other critical areas before entering a store.