10 Wars That Were Started For Stupid Reasons

1. Some Drunk Jerk (France Vs. Sicily, 1282-1302)

War masks
Francesco Hayez [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

In 1282, France was occupying the island of Sicily, which not everyone on Sicily was very happy about. The French and the Sicilians were sort of muddling along resentfully until the people of Palermo gathered for the Easter prayer meeting of Vespers.

At some point, and the details are vague here, something happened in the town square. One version is that a French soldier got bladdered drunk and tried to drag a French women out of the crowd. Another is that French soldiers decided to check the crowd for weapons, which they used as an opportunity to grope all the women present.

Whatever happened, the Sicilians didn't like it, and the fight that broke out at Vespers grew into a massacre of French people in Palermo. It then swelled to a full-blown war that drew various nearby kingdoms into the conflict and demonstrated the infinite destructive power possessed by every drunken douchebag.

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Ben Counter is a fantasy and science fiction writer, gaming enthusiast, wrestling fan and miniature painting guru. He was raised on Warhammer, Star Wars and 1980s cartoons that, in retrospect, were't that good. Whoever you are, he is nerdier than you.