10 Ways To Dispose Of A Dead Body (If You Really Needed To)

Bones are made of pretty strong stuff, so, seeing as woodchippers are made to deal with tree limbs rather than human ones, would feeding your deceased victim into a wood chipper, a la Fargo, really work?

Probably.

A lot of bones' strength actually comes from the fact that they're spongy, meaning that they're very good at absorbing shock. Human bone doesn't stand to too well to torsion and grinding motions, so a swift meeting with the jaws of an industrial wood chipper would be all that is required to turn a body into bonemeal.

Of course, an obvious issue we face here is that fact that a lot of woodchippers have a habit of spraying their newly mangled contents all over the place. Unless you're spraying it directly into a very remote, fast-flowing river, there are going to be chunks everywhere.

Depending on wind direction, you may even get a lovely misting effect that is going to soak into your clothes, just ready for the police to pick it up.

Perhaps not ideal, but if you can overcome this particular hurdle then it's a much more efficient method of dismemberment than attempting to use that electric carving knife that your mother-in-law bought you 12 years ago.