9. St Patrick's Day Is Comically Huge In The US
Mary Altaffer/AP/Press Association ImagesTop o the mornin' to ya. Yes, with a slight amount of cultural insensitivity the USA goes majorly bonkers on St Paddy's Day and drags out every Irish stereotype there is. Flashing green LEDs embedded into green foam hats with amusing belt buckles on them, four leafed clovers, ginger beards and corncob pipes, pots o' gold and even green beer. They even dye the rivers here green, the environment be damned. Seemingly on this day every person suddenly becomes some divisible person of Ireland. Oh I'm one sixteenth Irish, I've heard folks say. I have spent eighteen St Patrick's Days here and every year I ask some of my adopted brethren what deed did Mr Patrick actually do to get canonized - and, well, welcome back confused baby with lemon. Yes, I get scrunched up looks and half-hearted guesses. When I point out he is most likely to have been born in Scotland well I may has well of spat green beer on their fake ginger beards. I understand St Patrick's Day is an event celebrated worldwide and that many folks here in the US are genuinely of Irish heritage. I just wish they'd learn a tiny bit of the history before going mental and drowning innocent fish in green food dye and dressing up like a leprechaun. Frankly, though, I'm surprised it isn't known as American St Patrick's Day of the United States of America so I guess I should be grateful for small mercies.