12 Haunting Slash Fictions That Will Ruin Your Childhood

10. Abuse The Master-Apprentice Relationship, Yoda Does

If you grew up at any point post-1977, then odds are that Star Wars is irrevocably tethered to your childhood and everything that innocence stands for. It's hard to imagine, but there was a time when there were no prequels, no mountains of Ewok merchandise, no completely-serious debates on whether or not George Lucas should be tried as a legitimate war criminal for the way he managed to sully such a beloved property. But there's nothing George Lucas could ever do (bar having a Jar-Jar Binks spin-off) that would dishonor the "Star Wars" name in quite the same way that user don't mind me's short story, which finds Yoda and Luke giving into the hot, irresistible throes of inter-species passion. "F*** Me, You Will" is almost nothing but dialogue, and the audience is given only the slightest impression of what goes on when night settles over Dagobah. But what an impression it is. As Luke Skywalker remarks, "using the Force makes you horny" and there's not a single eye to judge them in the desolate swamps of the Dagobah system. Oh, except for the ghost of Obi-Wan Kenobi, who has no choice but to sit there in silence and watch the last two Jedi in the galaxy play with their, ahem, lightsabers. If there's such a thing as Force Hell, then odds are that poor Kenobi would largely prefer it over watching the rebellion's only hope make sweet love to a space-muppet.