12 Haunting Slash Fictions That Will Ruin Your Childhood

11. Steve And Joe Play Sex Clues

Admit it, Blue's Clues was the "NCIS" of your childhood. Every Saturday morning, you would wake up early, sit in the living room, and sloppily shovel cereal into your mouth as you tried to solve this week's dog-driven mystery. Every week, mild-mannered man-child Steve would attempt to solve Blue's mysteries, which usually amounted to something along the lines of, "It's five in the afternoon! Feed me, you neglectful idiot." But every week, you tuned in, and every week, your heart pounded in the suspense of Blue's shadowy enigma-of-the-week. And even after Steve had gone off to "college" (i.e. unemployment row) and been replaced by his brother Joe, you still tuned in to see Blue get up to her wacky Lecter-esque shenanigans. But what happens when Blue takes a vacation and Steve comes home to visit dear brother Joe? According to Diayma's "Sex Clues," they engage in a bro-cest laden sexcapade all while bemoaning the existential metafiction in which they find themselves. And you thought the Santa Clause entry was rough. It's honestly hard to tell what's worse: the fact that Steve and Joe are actively participating in graphic, flirt-ridden incest or that they seem to be completely aware of the fictitious construct that is their lives. As the two brothers explicitly confirm every tenet of Rule 34, we're given insight into their existential crisis pertaining to the fact that their lives appear to be governed by alien gods constructing their lives around the premise of a children's television program. But it's mostly just the incest.