Ahhhh. Enjoy the Silence. Or, The Sound of Silence. Maybe, Silent All These Years. Or maybe, if youre that Richard Marx fan (and he knows you still exist), its a Silent Scream. Any which way you look at it, when you live alone, you get used to the sound of silence. Alone with your thoughts. Thoughts like, Ill pretend Im a spy under house arrest or when Im cleaning the kitchen, Ill pretend Im a forensic detective. Thoughts like that. People who live with, well, other people, have to be all grown up and talk about bills and the weather and stuff. If you live alone, you dont have to do any of that. Not getting dressed today? So what? Forgot to eat again? Who cares? Beer oclock starting at approximately 8.37am? Not a problem (apart from the crumbling descent into alcoholism as you stagger through the streets drunk, malnourished and lacking trousers). Theres the rub. People who lives with annoying flatmates often look at those of us who live alone as a desirable. A perfect life where you do as you please and you dont have to answer to anyone. The only problem is, its not quite like that. In fact, it can be a minefield of little decisions which can dictate if you are a success at this life business or a complete and utter failure. What people who live with others dont realise is that there are 13 Harsh Truths You Learn When You Live Alone...
13. The Lack Of Rules
The sun is rising and you slowly open your eyes. The slight hangover and taste of curry is a familiar early morning obstacle for you to traverse. This is a day of adventure. A day when you will break on through. A day when you will win that Oscar, write that book and compose that opera. This is your day. Then you look at the clock. Crap. Its 11.37am. Its happened again. That one beer turned into ten. Then the whiskey was opened and you had a party. A big, fat, steaming party where you were the only guest. And that clock youre looking at, its in the living room because you fell asleep on the couch yet again. This is the problem. We need rules. We need someone to say, Hey, lets make blueberry muffins and run a 10k together before collecting money for charity and going to the forest and building a wall for the National Trust. We need someone to say, Come on, weve got to clean the house and put the recycling out. We need someone to say, PUT THE BEER DOWN. PUT IT DOWN. WALK AWAY FROM THE BEER. When you live with other people, even if its an irritating flatmate, we at least have to pretend to be a human being. When you live by yourself you can, unfortunately, just be yourself...and thats a massive problem.
