13 Things You Should Never Say To A Stephen King Fan

2. 'Isn't Salem's Lot Basically Twilight In A Trailer Park?'

NO. It's a classic take on a town turning into vampires who prey on their loved ones until the entire town is overrun with crazy night walkers who take orders from the head vampire who lives in a big scary mansion at the top of hill. No teenage angst, no unnecessary sex scenes, no Robert Pattinson, and no ridiculous super powers. Just some good old Dracula-lovin', blood-suckin€™ fun, led by Austrian vampire-immigrant Kurt Barlow. Did you know: The town of Salem€™s lot is a location that would be revisited in the short stories Jerusalem's Lot and One for the Road, both from King's 1978 short story collection Night Shift.
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I love Stephen King and music festivals; I eat my toast upside down; I daydream about getting married probably a bit too much; and I wish every day for a pet sausage dog puppy (who never materialises – sob).