13 Things You Should Never Say To A Stephen King Fan

by Rachel Bailey

1. 'Why Does Danny Keep Saying Red Rum In The Shining? Is Red Rum The Bad Guy?'

NO YOU IDIOT RED RUM IS MURDER SPELT BACKWARDS AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO IF ANY ASKS ME THIS STUPID QUESTION EVER AGAIN.
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I love Stephen King and music festivals; I eat my toast upside down; I daydream about getting married probably a bit too much; and I wish every day for a pet sausage dog puppy (who never materialises – sob).