Theres perhaps nothing worse than during a run, a friend passes by you but decides to slow down (yeah, thanks for slowing down for me) and have a chat. They look lean. They look attractive. Theyre not sweating, theyre glowing and, to make matters worse, theyre not even breathing heavy. Then they ask the inevitable question. How do you feel? Before answering, you pick up your pace slightly. You straighten your back. You slow your breathing down to something less than the pant of a dehydrated dog in the summertime and you look across at them, replying with a wink, Me? I feel great. Just keeping a bit back for a strong finish. Your friend nods, gives you a patronising pat on the shoulder and runs off, content with your reply as your shoulders sag, your stagger to a far slower pace and that taste of sick appears in your mouth again. Of course, what you really wanted to say was, Oh go **** yourself you **** **** **** **** and take your ******** **** **** with you. Runners. Were too polite sometimes.
