16 Problems Only People From Madison Wisconsin Will Understand

11. "Staying Regular" Requires A Delicate Balance Of Cheese And Beer

After about that third basket of cheese curds, the ol' tum tum might not be working as smoothly as one might hope. Also, you haven't even touched your grilled cheese yet and you know damn well you're heading to Ian's at the end of the night for a slice of mac n' cheese pizza. If you don't want to spend tomorrow morning clutching the side of the bathroom sink in agony, weeping and praying to Barry Alvarez to make it all go away, you'll need to drink more beer. It's nature's stomach lubricant, and the only way to ensure a perfect ratio of dairy to barley in your belly.