17 Signs It Was Definitely A Slow News Day

Hold the front page, things are about to get crazy.

The most boring day of the 20th Century, according to a Cambridge scientist, was April 11, 1954. Nobody significant died, no major events occurred and the only notable birthday was that of Abdullah Atalar, a Turkish academic. The irony now, of course, is the fact that the most boring day in the history of media is now particularly interesting. When things like this occur (or more to the point, don't occur), journalists have to find other things to report. Elvis has already died, man (apparently) stepped foot on the moon decades ago, and America will never again elect their first black President. So, they scrape the barrel with stories of cats having stand-offs with birds, patients receiving pillowcases instead of gowns, and kids "attacking" their parents with bags of Cheetos. They must bask in the trivial, and pray their listeners, viewers or readers will lap it up. The further irony is, we totally do. Prepare from some seriously shocking headlines, as we delve into the world of extreme news...
 
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Human woman. Content Manager at What Culture. Lover of many "ologies", punk rock and cats. My god is Ilúvatar. Follow me on Twitter: @nina_cresswell