18 Awkward Moments Every Introvert Has Been Through
17. Physical Contact
Similar to the hug, the idea of physical contact for introvert is one mired in terror and regular defeat. It can happen anywhere, too. On the tube, someone leaning up against you, using your inanimate body as, er, an inanimate pole. On a plane, someone using your bloody arm-rest (see also the cinema, theatre and any public event involving 'the arm rest'). Also, that terrifying moment when you collect your change from someone and touch their hands. You want to explain that it didn't mean anything. You were just picking up your well-earned money from their hand. It was a mistake. You're so sorry. But they don't care. They brush it off like some sort of accident, which it was, but they didn't know that. Bloody extroverts and their physical contact.
16. Eye Contact
That unqualified moment when you're having a conversation with someone and it's been going on for a while. Obviously, you have to keep looking at them or you look like you've been distracted. Stare at them too long though and it becomes either a battle of the wills or just plain creepy. What usually ends up happening is a count of three as you look into their eyes before a count of three away. Three and three. Excellent. Not too creepy and not too distracted. The only problem is, with all that counting, you panic and don't listen to a word they say. Best just to get eye contact and nod. For a count of five.
15. Dealing With Children
Is there anything more terrifying for the introvert than dealing with children? Maybe, but the thought of going round your friend's house and dealing with, well, chatter and questions and complete bloody insanity is one hard for the introvert to deal with. If it's a baby, no, we don't want to hold it. It's a baby. It doesn't do anything and you laughing about its toilet habits is not something I want to talk about, think about are even begin to comprehend. If it's a toddler, no, don't leave me alone with it. I am happy talking to you, my adult friend, because we can chat about life, love and films over a glass of wine. I cannot talk to a three year old who wants to talk about why the carpet is green or how they fell over the other day or how this toy with a flashing light works. If it was an adult, I wouldn't want to enter this conversation and the fact that you're a toddler just terrifies me even more.
14. Dancing While Sober
There's always that moment, usually at some sort of organised fun or when you're the designated driver, when you get dragged onto the dance floor by people who think it's both intensely hilarious and 'it'll get you out of your shell'. They all stand, clapping and cheering, making the scene reminiscent of some seventies exploitation film, before you begin to dance. Well, not dance exactly. When Ian Curtis danced with those sharp, jagged movements, he meant it. When Mick Jagger dances with the aplomb of a cool uncle, he means it. When Lady GaGa gets vomited on. She definitely means it. Your sober dancing is a combination of all of these. It is horrendous and causes the clapping to slowly disappear and the music in the club to stop as everyone stands and stares. Then someone throws some tumbleweed at your head and tells you to get out.