18 Awkward Moments Every Introvert Has Been Through
13. People Asking If "You're Okay"
There can be nothing worse than having a great day, one for the ages, and sitting down with a group of friends, eager to spread your love and joy for the world only for them to lean forward and warmly enquire: "Are you okay? You look really down." At that moment, the black world envelops you and you realise that your place on this mortal coil is all for naught. Your worthless existence means nothing. Nobody will remember you in one hundred years time and, when you pass, within hours of your wake, no-one will even remember your name. And all you wanted to do was to tell them you won an auction on eBay for an old Spectrum 128k and a copy of Target: Renegade.
12. Someone Sitting Next To You At A Public Event
Your favourite director has released a black and white subtitled epic about crop rotation in the 14th century. You know none of your other friends are bothered so you make this a special time just for you. Arriving early you get the centre seat in the centre row. The cinema is empty and the film, no doubt the only showing within two hundred miles of where you live, is seconds from starting when... another person enters the auditorium and, after a brief scan, walks up to your row and sidles up to you. Ignoring them, you stare blankly at the BBFC certificate as if it a recently discovered play by Shakespeare. Then, THEN, they sit next to you. On top of that, they pull out a sandwich box and thermos and proceed to 'picnic down' pausing only to laugh at the wrong bits and use YOUR arm-rest.
11. Eating In Public
Usually, eating is not a problem. You've made a nice spaghetti Bolognese for yourself, some nice garlic bread and a lovely chianti to wash it all down with. Lovely. Then transfer that very same scene to a restaurant amongst a table of people and you might as well wear the bowl of pasta as some sort of ornate comedy hat. You've stupidly worn a white shirt which will not only emphasise your blushes but also the stains from the pasta. You flick the linguine into the lap of someone else as you try to wrap it round your fork, drop breadcrumbs into your friend's handbag and spill red-wine onto the new person you've never spoken to and now never will. Excellent. They'll never invite you out again. Actually, maybe that's a good thing.
10. Dealing With Workmen
This can turn into a horrific encounter for the introvert. You need the boiler fixing, it has to be done. It's cold outside, it's cold inside. So, you deal with the awkward phone call which gets the repairman out. They knock at the door. You open it. Then... then you turn into a two-dimensional idea of a real person. You call them 'mate', laugh about sports you have no idea about ("of course Rooney meant that ludicrous chip") and constantly ask them, and immediately forget, how they take their tea. The terrifying moment of handing the mug (an old one from the back of the cupboard, not one of the proper ones that you drink out of) to the workman as you realise you've put one, and not four, teaspoons of sugar in. Finally, the payment, when you ask: "Is a cheque alright?" only to get the "No, mate, cash only" look and you go upstairs to the secret savings sock, sweating in fear because they might be following behind you with a wrench. At least your boiler works, though. You'll die warm and toasty.
