These people are clearly under the impression that elves clean the store while it's closed. They pick up things and put them down somewhere else. They purposefully go through racks of clothes and put half the smalls in the larges and half the mediums on the clearance rack. They leave the dressing rooms in such a state that you can only assume they fought off a large bull whilst trying on skinny jeans.
11. The One With All The Dad Jokes
The really sad part is that they think you haven't heard these ones before. Oh, the scanner isn't working? "I guess it's free!" Yes, because that's how a free market economy works. Also, no, you are not the first person to tell that joke today. But hey, you have your dad jokes, we have an occasionally debilitating sense of sarcasm, so it all evens out in the end.
10. The One Who Thinks This Is A Turkish Bazaar
This is not a flea market, or Chinatown, or a crowded street market in the Middle East. What possesses people to think that they can come into corporate America and start haggling? You, as a minimum wage worker, are not in a position to barter with this joker as they try to trade you twelve dollars and a half-eaten bag of Skittles in exchange for your products. It's like...have you been in a store before?
9. The Clueless Shopper
They're shopping for someone else, and you can only assume this person told them what they wanted through Morse Code. They're looking for something that's a light color, with a neckline, and some kind of stuff on the sleeves. Do you have that? Unfortunately, they're usually not willing to explore, instead depending on you to help them find the illusive item, as they stare wide-eyed as though they've never been in a store before.
8. The Con Artist
Look, you and this con artist both know that the item they're trying to return was absolutely not purchased at your store. You know because you've been working there for four years and to the best of your knowledge, Ann Taylor Loft has never sold Scooby Doo purses. But they're still going to try it, because there's nothing to lose. Except your valuable time, of course.
7. The Cell Phone Addict
You know how some people taught their children that it was rude to talk on a cell phone while checking out at a store unless it was an absolute life and death emergency? Well, some people didn't, and the result is the cell phone addict. Their conversation is so important that it can't be halted, not even to exchange paltry pleasantries with the cashier. What's really irritating about these encounters is that it makes you into the intruder, and you feel almost like you're interrupting if, God forbid, you have to ask them a question.
Audrey Fox is an ex-film student, which means that she prefers to spend her days in the dark, watching movies and pondering the director's use of diegetic sound. She currently works as an entertainment writer, joyfully rambling about all things film and television related. Add her on Twitter at @audonamission and check out her film blog at 1001moviesandbeyond.com.
