6. Flash Photography Turns You Into A Blob of White.
GiphyThat's okay; it's not like we wanted to see facial features in our photographs. No, it's much better to have a group of normal, smiling people accompanied by what seems to be an amorphous glowing mass of white that is in the vague form of a human being. Because who wouldn't want to look like some strange apparition in an otherwise-lovely photo? Camera flash is a pale person's worst enemy: it's essentially an eraser, removing noses and mouths, blurring lines, and reflecting off the skin in a most luminous and undesirable fashion. Natural light is good. Sunlight, although otherwise cruel, is good. Flash photography? Never your friend.
5. Your "Tan" Looks Like Most People's "Pale"
BBCWhen you're of the pale persuasion, actually getting a tan of any shade is a major accomplishment. Tan lines are like first place trophies; they're gold medals in the Tanning Olympics. And when you're super excited that you've finally obtained a "normal" skin tone, there is no bigger buzz-kill than excitedly running up to your friends, bragging about your brand new tan, and having them look at you and say, What tan?" Or, even worse, "You just look normal." You worked hard for that tan, darn it! Can't they just give you a moment of satisfaction? Sigh. When you're pale, that perfect, jealousy-inducing tan is forever out of reach.
4. You Bruise Even Easier Than You Burn
NBCUniversal Television DistributionWhat's even "better" than being extraordinarily pale? Why, being extraordinarily pale with sporadic patches of black, blue, green, purple, and every colour in between, of course! For that's just yet another perk of pale: even the slightest tap results in a ridiculously-severe looking bruise. Bump a table? Bruise. Sit down too heavily? Bruise. Your cat whacks you with her tail? Yep, that'll be a bruise. And not only do you bruise like a banana (or, as our friend Joey says, a peach), but the bruises look more like major trauma wounds than the relatively simple injuries that they actually are. But chin up! You can always think about it this way: you aren't just pale, you're rainbow.