9. If You Do Have Kids, They Won't Be As Annoying As Tim
For the love of everything in this world Tim, you were the only person not doing a single helpful thing in the control room and the one thing that you could have done to make sure that everyone didn't get eaten by a very clever dinosaur, would have been to hand Ellie the gun. But no, you stood there behind your sister's chair and stressed her out instead of doing the decent thing, and because Alan and Ellie weren't your parents, they couldn't shout at you and tell you how stupid you are. You're hoping to get parenting right.
