Seagulls are scary mofos. They would sooner look at you then fly over, steal all your nice seaside snacks (and possibly your baby) and scarper before you're even aware what's happened. And what are you gonna do? It's a seagull. It cannot be stopped. It's too high up. And if you try, it'll probably try and peck your eyes out. You can get some first hand evidence of a seagull attack in Brighton on Google Street view at 50.823567,-0.133599, which shows one of those bloody birds headed straight for the camera with what looks like a battered sausage in its mouth. Which it probably stole from a starving orphan. Because seagulls are evil. At least that one's alone, though, unlike this nightmare vision of an unmade Birds (or at least Birdemic) sequel which we haven't tracked down the coordinates to and, frankly, don't plan to any time soon.
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
