10. An Interview Going Well Means Nothing
It may be a miracle. It may only happen one time out of fifty, if that. But you're in, you're through the door in your nicest shirt and tie and you're waiting in a pretentious foyer on a couch that is just too low to the ground. They are willing to consider you as a person. Breath, breath. You are a normal person. You can do the job. Breath deeply. They invite you in and stare at you as if you were some exhibit in a freak show. They ask you innocuous questions like, "Would you say or not say that you are, could be or wouldn't be inclined to maybe perhaps but not won't take from the till?" If you stutter, you're dead. But you don't stutter, you ace it. "Shut up, I'm no thief. Give me the job, I'm you're man! Woof!" They smile and scribble, and thank you for your time. Guiding you gently but firmly to the door, allowing you time to microanalyse every single utterance, every move you made. You feel it deep inside, you've nailed this. It feels good. You ring your parents who are so happy. ...and you never hear from them again. Turns out an interview going well can also mean nothing, someone else was just better. Or more often these days, they'd rather wait for the perfect person than pay for someone not as good. You'll get it next time, slugger.