When you need to "musk up" ready to do the "no pants dance" don't go for London Gentleman or even Blackbeard's Delight, the only cologne guaranteed to work "60% of the time every time" is Sex Panther by Eau De On. You might have difficulty obtaining it as it's illegal in 9 countries due to being made with bits of real panther, but if you can get a hold of it you'll make your little kitty purr. Actually you'll get a hold of it no bother by a simple Google search as yet again it is a product that has materialised in the real world. Presumably without the panther bits included.
9. Red Apple Cigarettes (The Tarantino-verse)
Smoking may not be quite as cool, socially acceptable and as beneficial to health as it was once thought to be but if there's one achingly cool brand in the movies it has to be Red Apple, the smoke of choice in Quentin Tarantino's interconnected film universe. Red Apple, with its grinning caterpillar mascot have been smoked in Pulp Fiction, From Dusk Till Dawn, Four Rooms, Planet Terror, Kill Bill and Inglorious Basterds as well as making an "off-piste" appearance in Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion. Unsurprisingly no tobacco companies have licensed Red Apple thus far, but there is an electronic version, and surely Apple flavoured candy cigarettes can't be too far away.
8. Buzz Cola (The Simpsons)
Some products on this list couldn't possibly exist in our world, some are fictional brand names for real products and some are a veiled analogue for a real world product, like Buzz Cola, which draws its inspiration from the high-caffeine/sugar beverage Jolt Cola. Jolt was launched in 1985 and was marketed as a stimulant pre-cursor to energy drinks to students and young professionals until it was discontinued in 2009.
As well as the odd article, I apply my "special mind" to scriptwriting for Comics, Films and Games... Oh and I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flow'rs, I put on women's clothing, and hang around in bars.
Follow me on Twitter @DrRobertOtnik
