Having someone else's hair in your food is a disgrace. Having your own hair fall into your food as you're eating it is just bloody tragic.
13. Unwarranted Beard Attention
What nobody tells you when you decide to start cultivating a face thatch is that beards are the great unifier: between beard fellows and those who aspire to be bearded, and the women and men who love them. You will find this out - particularly at music festivals - as strangers compliment you on your beard. For a British man in particular, this is particularly jarring: we are not pieces of meat. Stop ogling us. Unless you nip it in the bud, some - usually drunk - people will take it to the next stage and stroke you uninvited, as if it's perfect fine to just not have any personal boundaries.
12. "Ruining" Everyone's Special Photos
Try growing a beard in the run up to your sister/cousin/friend's wedding and watch what happens. You will be told, in no uncertain terms that your frivilous decision must be gone by the time the event comes round, as if all of the photos will look like an overly-friendly tramp has just borrowed a tuxedo and is wandering around in the background.
11. The Dilemma Of Conditioner
If you don't maintain your beard, it will smell and begin to look like you genuinely are a tramp. If you do, and choose normal conditioner, as opposed to something tailored specifically to beard hair, you will look like a blow-dried pom-pom.
