My hair is on my head, why are your scissors and shaver anywhere near my face? Not only is that where I keep most of my sensitive things, I have no interest in your uninvited attempts to tame my beard. And if you shave off my sideburns again leaving no transition between head and beard, I will shave you completely bald myself.
9. Being Unable To Eat Like A Grown-Up
Soup is out, and so is anything with any kind of sauce, unless you want to have to explain why you've got tomato reduction or a red wine jus all over your face 4 hours after you ate anything. The whole eating situation requires no obstacles - it's not that big a hole at the end of the day - and inevitably making it more difficult means running the risk of looking like a toddler for hours after you eat.
8. Ginger
Got black hair? Brown? Blonde? Tough luck, bub, you're getting a beard the colour of the sun. Even the swarthiest of colouring makes way for the mighty ginger gene, without any real scientific reasoning. So expect grief.
7. Accidentally Trimming Too Much
As anyone who has attempted to "even" their eyebrows up will attest, amateur beard maintenance isn't for everyone, and will inevitably lead to something ugly and lop-sided. Or worse, as you attempt to take a little bit more off to even the other side up, you'll end up looking like a 12 year old, clean-shaved child in no time.
